HOW TO SHOW THE AVENGERS THE WONDERFUL WONDER OF SPOONING(STARK STYLE)
by TotallyRandomAwesomeness
Summary: Tony finds out that none of the Avengers have ever spooned with someone before. He takes it upon himself to fix his. No pairings, just friendship and lots and lots of cuddles! :D I think it could be K, but I rated it T just in case :) THANKYOU for reading! Please review xx


**So I know I have other stuff I should be working on but this was an idea that I thought of starting with Tony trying to spoon with Steve and it just evolved from there. I'm not brilliant, but I'm trying my hardest to be good and I just really wanted to get this idea out of my head! I wasn't sure about what to do for Natasha, Clint or how to end it, so I hope it turned out ok **

**OH! Also this is my first Avengers fan fiction! My others are about Ouran High School Host Club and Fruits Basket so I'd LOVE it if you checked them out **

**Also, there are no pairing in this, but you can see a little bit of Bruce/Tony (most just science bros rather than science boyfriends though) and All/Tony if you squint and tilt your head sideways. Otherwise, their basically all just good friends **** (no matter what Tony says). Thor's speech is all in CAPITAL LETTERS because Thor sort of… booms his words. It does not necessarily mean he is yelling, just that I think little letters don't do Chris Hemsworth's voice justice.**

**Disclaimer: **

**I don't own the Avengers and I'm not making money from this (sadly)**

**Enjoy! (Hopefully)**

**HOW TO SHOW THE AVENGERS THE WONDERFUL WONDERS OF SPOONING (TONY STARK STYLE)**

Tony Stark sat on the couch in the main living room of the (recently re-named) Avengers tower, flicking channels on his huge flat screen television. Steve (who had been in the gym all day) wandered in and sat perched on the edge of the sofa.

'Stevie, why so distant honey bunny? Don' cha you want to be my little spoon?' Tony mocked. The two heroes had settled their differences after the fight with Loki, but Tony still took pleasure in teasing and embarrassing Steve at any available opportunity.

'Little… spoon?' Steve looked at Tony completely confused.

'Yeah you know, spooning, a horizontal hug, laying next to each other like spoons in a kitchen draw, cuddling, sometimes resulting in fork related activities, etcetera etcetera'

'I've never heard of that before'

'But spooning is the best thing ever!?' Tony jumped up and pulled Steve down onto the couch so that Steve was lying in front of Tony sideways on the couch.

'Ok, as spooning is usually done by couples, this may be weird - but we are going for a completely heterosexual spooning experience', he said as he realised he had to reach quite a way to pull Steve even slightly closer to his body.

'Uh Tony, however... Weird this is… it may work slightly better if you were in front of me?' Steve said as Tony was squished slightly into the back of the sofa.

'Yeah ok, let's switch'

As Tony attempted to climb over Steve and Steve tried to avoid having Tony's elbows in his face, Bruce and Thor wandered into the living room, Thor holding a smashed up StarkPhone.

'MAN OF IRON, FRIEND BANNER SAYS THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ABLE TO REPAIR...' Thor stopped, seeing Tony and Steve struggling on the sofa.

'Uh…. Tony, Steve, what are you doing?' Bruce said turning slightly as Natasha and Clint entered the room.

'Apparently,' Tony started as he finally managed to settle on the couch in front of Steve.

'…, Our good Captain has never spooned anyone before! So I thought it would be important to introduce him to the wonders of sideways cuddles'

'I've never spooned' Natasha added, shrugging as she poured herself a glass of water from one of the mini fridges that Tony kept in every room.

'Why is it such a big deal?'

'I've never spooned either' Clint added, climbing into one of the armchairs.

'WHAT IS THIS "SPOONING" YOU SPEAK OF? I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT' Thor boomed.

'Yeah turning into a giant green monster really does not leave many opportunities for cuddling' Bruce pointed out.

'Wait so you're all saying that NONE of you have ever spooned before!?' Tony jumped off of the sofa and waved his hands around at his team mates.

'No Tony none of us have 'spooned' before, I think we've established that' Steve said sitting up.

'Well that is just WRONG' Tony said and ran out of the room.

And that was the beginning of Tony Stark's master plan:** SHOW THE AVENGERS THE WONDERFUL WONDERS OF SPOONING (TONY STARK STYLE)**

**Day one. Tuesday. 13:00. Avenger one: Steve**

Steve had already experienced a small amount of Tony Stark spooning, and seemed to have been sufficiently scared off. After realising that there really was no way that Steve was going to be able to fit as the little spoon, Tony decided he needed a new plan of attack. So, after spending the day following Steve around trying to annoy him as much as possible, Tony seemed to have successfully pissed Steve off enough so that the soldier was actually clenching and unclenching his fists in anger.

'Steve, Steve, STTTEEEEVVVVVIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE EEEEEEEE' Tony whined. Steve groaned and put his head in his hands.

'Hey guess what Stevie? I…'

'TONY' Steve cut in.

'Will you just…. STOP! You're driving me CRAZY'

'Oh but STTTTEEEVVVIIIIEEEEEE' Tony said poking Steve in the side.

'ARGHHHHH' Steve said leaping at Tony and shoving him into the sofa.

As they fell backwards, Tony pushed Steve down onto the sofa and lay on his side with his back to Steves face.

'TONY, MOVE' Steve yelled shoving Tony so he almost fell off of the sofa.

'No wait Capsicle, I just wanted to spoon!' Tony yelled as he tried to prevent his head from cracking open on the floor. He had not predicted this level of violence; he only wanted Steve to be mad enough to jump at him.

'You... wanted to spoon?' Steve asked, fuming.

'Yeah. I figured I wouldn't be able to convince you to lie down with me so I thought I'd make you lie down!' Tony turned his head smiling at Steve.

'You know, because spooning's the best'

'Well I guess that you aren't as bad as we thought Stark', Steve said smiling slightly to himself.

'But I am mad at you so… NO' Steve said laughing and pushing Tony off of the sofa.

'OWWW ROGERS!' Tony yelled rubbing the side of his face that hit the floor.

Steve left the main living room laughing lightly to himself and smiling. Maybe Tony was annoying, but he did seem to be trying to do something nice for his friends (not that he'd ever admit that they were his friends. Tony always insisted that they were his "business associates", "team mates" or "smashing buddies").

**Day two. Wednesday. 18:30. Avenger two: Bruce**

Tony knew that although Bruce shied away from physical contact, and he had to be careful to not annoy him enough to bring out the Jolly Green Giant, Bruce wouldn't be too hard to spoon. Especially since Bruce was definitely going to be the little spoon. Tony strutted into the lab (he WAS Tony Stark after all) and smiled when he saw Bruce half asleep at his lab bench.

'Bruce', Tony said walking up to him.

'You look a little worse for wear'

Bruce looked up tiredly over the top of his glasses.

'I'm… ok' Bruce said weakly smiling and pausing to yawn.

'Bruce, buddy, you look exhausted! Come on at least take a little nap on the couch over here', Tony gestured to the sofa which he had placed conveniently in the side of the lab.

'But Ton…'

'No, no, no, how can you work while you're half asleep! You look worse than me! Come on, lie down', Tony said taking the chemicals from Bruce's hand, placing them on the lab bench and guiding Bruce over to the sofa.

'Tony I don't think…'

'Come on Bruce, I'll demonstrate, as you clearly have no idea how to relax', Tony said lying down sideways on the couch and gently pulling Bruce's arm.

'Well, I uh guess', Bruce said, perching on the side of the sofa.

Gently pulling on Bruce's arm, Tony guided him down onto the sofa and tucking his arm around Bruce's side.

'Tony… Are you trying to spoon me?' Bruce laughed lightly to himself.

'Uh… maybe? Would you leave if I said yes…?' Tony said resting his head on top of Bruce's.

'No I wouldn't'

'Well then yes I am'

Bruce smiled and closed his eyes.

'Well I guess I could just rest a little…' Bruce said yawning and relaxed back against Tony's chest. Maybe this spooning thing WAS just as good as Tony said it was.

**Day four. Friday. 14:30. Avenger three: Thor**

Thor would be easy, Tony knew. He was the cuddliest, clingiest Avenger and Tony barely needed to plan. Sitting on the floor in front of the couch in the main living room, Tony poured himself more scotch and tried to look as miserable as he could. Thor could be heard walking toward the room from the end of the corridor.

'MAN OF IRON, YOU SEEM SAD, WHAT IS IT THAT IS WRONG?' Thor said walking over sitting on the couch and putting his hand on Tony's shoulder.

'Well it's just I feel like…. my whole life has been… pointless' Tony whined, taking another drink of his scotch as his hand is shaking.

'I just…' Tony began to sob quietly.

'MAN OF IRON, DO NOT CRY, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! YOU ARE VERY SMART AND USEFUL AND AN EXCELLENT TEAM MATE AND AM MOST PRIVELEGED TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE YOU!' Thor grabbed Tony's arm, pulled him (a little more forceful than necessary in Tony's opinion) onto the sofa and put his arm around him. Tony lay on his side on the sofa, pulling Thor down with him, and stopped sobbing.

'MAN OF IRON, IS YOUR HEART ALREADY FEELING LIGHTER?' Thor said starting to sit up.

'Yes… yes it's just that I just realised that I'm still feeling… a bit sensitive and as though I uh.. need a uh… person to lean on and um… be supported by and uh… Hey! We're spooning!' Tony said smiling awkwardly.

'OH I MUST TRY THIS "SPOONING" THAT YOU SPEAK OF! HOW DO I PROPERLY CONDUCT MYSELF IN THIS ACTIVITY?' Thor said loudly and excitedly into Tony's ear (and Tony may have flinched but he would never admit to anything as un-manly as flinching).

'Uh well you do exactly what you are doing! You just need to move your arm a bit like… oh there you go' Tony said as Thor pulled him tightly against his chest.

'You might want to just uh loosen up uh…' Tony said as he was crushed under Thor's arm.

'THIS IS QUITE PLEASANT MAN OF IRON, I MUST SHARE THIS WITH MY BROTHER! I MUST GO TO ASGARD IMMEDIATELY. MJOLNIR!' Thor called and stuck his hand out.

'THOR! NO NOT THE…' Thor's hammer came flying toward the sofa.

Tony realised that he may have needed to try another method as he sat on the wrecked sofa and applied an ice pack to his face.

**Day Seven. Monday. 12:45. Avenger four: Natasha**

Tony knew that Natasha was by far going to be the hardest to get to spoon. Tony spent many hours considering his plan to get Natasha to spoon and finally settled on what he considered the safest (and least suicidal) plan.

Natasha was lounging on the sofa when Tony walked in, and headed toward her. He sat next to her on the couch and flicked the TV on to the DVD player (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (the special box set extended version of course)). Tony knew that Lord of the Rings was Natasha's favourite, as she enjoyed the battles and had a huge crush on Orlando Bloom (Clint liked to tease her that it was because he was an archer, and that archers are the sexiest of all fighters). As the movie played, Natasha settled onto the sofa and Tony began to slowly pretend he was falling asleep. As he slid down the sofa, he began to get closer to Natasha and more horizontal.

'Stark', She sharply as he edged closer to her.

'You're trying to get me to spoon aren't you?'

Tony cursed in his head and sat up smiling nervously. Lying would be no use with Natasha, she would see through everything he said.

'Um.. Yes?'

She looked slightly amused (which, Tony mused, was better than murderous).

'Ok', she smiled and lay sideways on the sofa, flipping her feet onto Tony's lap.

'Wha.. Ok?'

She smiled.

'Well Stark, I guess it'll much easier for me, and less painful for you, if I just put up with this scheme rather than letting you try and plot something else that will get one, or both of us killed', She said.

'Now get your ass down here'

Tony flopped on the couch behind Natasha.

'Oh no I don't think so!', Natasha grinned. Tony shivered, that was NOT a good grin.

'If we are going to do this, there is absolutely NO way I am being the little spoon'

Tony just hoped that Bruce wouldn't send the photos to Pepper.

**Day Eight. Tuesday. Avenger five: Clint**

Although Tony did not see the appeal in cuddling with Clint, if he had spooned with the rest of the Avengers, it was only fair that Clint experienced the wonders of horizontal cuddles as well. He knew that Clint wouldn't jump at him like Steve, he couldn't be convinced to have a rest like Bruce, he wouldn't hug Tony if he was crying, nor would he be likely to sit near Tony while he was watching a movie (Clint preferred to be high up, so he would sit on the arms or back of sofas or perch on his own armchair rather than across the couch with the other Avengers).

Tony would need to plan very carefully for this one.

**Day 11. Friday. 23:30. Still Avenger five: Clint**

Three days later, Tony was still having trouble coming up with a plan to get Clint to spoon with him. He had taken to pacing up and down the living room with a glass of scotch in his hand, muttering to himself.

_Ambush him in the air vents? No, how would that result in spooning? It wouldn't it would just hurt. Climb into his bed? No, that's just getting much too creepy and frankly, much too gay. Heterosexual Tony, heterosexual. But what… Hmm…_

At about 2:30 on Saturday morning, Tony finally decided to go to bed. How could he think if he was exhausted?

**Day 12. Saturday. 3:00. Tony's room.**

Lying on his large, soft bed covered in the best quality silk sheets around Tony was out like a light.

'Is he asleep?', Clint whispered quietly to Bruce who was peeking around the side of Tony's door.

'Yeah, I think he is', Steve whispered back.

The five Avengers tiptoed into Tony's room and stared.

'You weren't wrong when you said he had a big bed Clint', Natasha whispered staring at the gigantic bed.

'And it looked smaller from the air vents!', Clint whispered back.

'Only the best for Tony Stark' Bruce laughed quietly to himself.

'We need to do this before he wakes up. So, Clint you get in behind Tony since you haven't been spooned by him yet, Bruce in front of him, Natasha behind Clint, I'll get behind you and Thor, you get behind me' Steve directed.

'Avengers Assemble! ...well, sort of'

**Day 12. Saturday. 7:30. Tony's room.**

Tony woke up and his first feeling was that it was unnaturally warm. Jarvis kept the temperature in his room constant at all times and so this was very strange. The second thing he noticed was that for some reason there was a heavy thing over his waist and something large in front of him.

'Wha… wha… what the hell!' Tony sat up (the best that he could with Clint's arm around his waist) and looked around at his team mates.

'What are you doing!' He screeched and Clint groaned.

'Stark shut up and lie down' He moaned shoving his head into the cushion.

'We're trying to sleep'

'In my bed!'

'Tony', Steve said, his voice cracking from sleep.

'You've been trying to spoon us, so we thought we'd help you out and spoon you. Now shut up and get back to sleep'

Tony looked around at his friends sleeping peacefully snuggled up to each other. He smiled to himself and settled back down into his bed.

'See! I told you spooning is the best thing ever! Now you all just need to try forking but I'm definitely not helping any of you with that'

**THE END (well until they all wake up and get back to their antics ****)**

**Thankyou SO much for reading! **

**I hope you liked it – it wasn't great, but hopefully it made a few people smile! **

**I also really enjoy writing. I know my work needs more editing and developing but I get bored fast and so I'd rather publish an ok fic than get bored and never publish a slightly better one. **

**And I guess since it's so soon I should add MERRY CHRISTMAS :D I've just had so much this year that I haven't been able to write ANYTHING and I'm about to start a year which will be even BUSIER!**

**But anyway, enough about me, please take a little time to review – I'd really appreciate it! **

**I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year and (Hopefully!) I'll write some more soon.**

**Xx**

**PS. See Urban Dictionary for the definition of Forking but just so you know I didn't know it was actually a word for a uh… position until I'd already written it in as a made up thing that Tony says. When I found out – then I added the last line. **


End file.
